Gain more confidence by practicing Emotional Intelligence
In my quest to learn more about Emotional Intelligence and how I can put it into practice in my role as an Executive Assistant, I have learned that it is not a set of skills that should make us feel like we have to avoid confrontation or constantly be agreeable. On the contrary, as support professionals, these skills can help us in being strategic and productive in our roles as Executive Assistants. Practicing Emotional Intelligence can equip us with the ability to successfully manage our professional and personal relationships enabling us to function effectively and efficiently with others and in our daily activities to build solid, trusting relationships.
We all have different types of intelligence and approaches to managing and processing information that are independent of one another. Genetics and learned influences that have shaped our personalities and make us who we are come into play here. Our unique personalities may determine which attributes of emotional intelligence will come more naturally to us than others, but that doesn’t mean we can’t start practicing the ones that don’t come as easily, to learn and strengthen them, and gain more confidence.
Practicing the skills associated with Emotional Intelligence will help you to have control over your feelings and enable you to make constructive decisions, manage impulses and quick responses, better know how others are feeling, and build relationships.
Here are the four main areas of emotional intelligence we can start to develop now:
Tap into self awareness. Connecting to and acknowledging our changing emotions and how they affect us, causing us more control over our feelings, will enable us to have a better handle on our thoughts and actions to achieve our goals.
Build self management skills. Being aware of our own feelings can help us to think more clearly resulting in better decision-making and can give us the ability to exhibit more self-control. Self management can help prevent our feelings from causing us to react in unintended ways that we may later regret.
Embrace social awareness. Assessing what is important to others and how they are feeling will provide us with insight into how behaviors are influenced during the give and take. Social awareness can be more challenging in a virtual environment, as nonverbal cues can be easily missed over Zoom!
Use relationship management to increase trust. Skills used both inside and outside of work to build, foster, and manage interactions and relationships is an effort which takes time and emotional intelligence. By practicing strategies to learn and improve our skills in self awareness, self management, and social awareness, we can continue to develop and strengthen the connection between ourselves and our colleagues, family, and friends.
Besides helping us in our roles as EA's, developing our emotional intelligence can give us the ability to manage stress better, which can lead to finding more joy in our professional and personal lives. Developing emotional Intelligence also gives us the chance to learn something new about ourselves, positive or negative. It is character building and a great opportunity for personal growth. Inevitably, when we are practicing emotional intelligence every day, we will become more self-aware, and what a great way to add more value to our EA toolboxes! I have learned that these tools can help us measure, create, maintain (and even repair) relationships, projects, and situations. All of us can work to fine tune these skills and continually develop them.
Most every circumstance can be a cause to pause, and think about how you can put emotional intelligence to practice as various situations and relationship building opportunities arise in your day.
Here are few questions you can ask yourself as you seek to develop your emotional intelligence as an Executive Assistant:
As stressors arise on the job, what are some of the emotions in yourself you notice surface the strongest?
How do you use emotional intelligence to guide your behavior in your high-profile role as an EA?
How do you see others exhibiting emotional intelligence?
About Sheri Thillman Sheri has over 16 years of professional experience partnering with and providing support to the C-Suite, entrepreneurs, business owners, and founders. She most recently served as a Chief of Staff in the technology space.
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